1. |
Wasted
03:07
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Here lies my faith in evidence our glory days lay wait ahead
Each second sealing aging’s curse where everything keeps getting worse
But I’m still here lumbering on that thin facade of purpose gone
And what pathetic husk remains endlessly echoes the refrain
I had everything and squandered it all
Sense of direction ambition momentum and gaul
And now all I ever do is complain, fetishizing the person I never became
So here I am the archetype of everything that I despise
Trying my best to comfortably assume a new identity
But time moves on and life won’t wait for you to stall and contemplate
On where it started going wrong
Can’t course correct just move along
But you fuckers got it all figured out, a plan for every disaster a pill for the doubt
And I’ll front but god what I wouldn’t give, shake the fragility of the way that I live
But I’m feeling wasted for months at a time now
So anxious that this binge won’t let up
I’m terrified of the future, fuck it’s sooner
And I’m less prepared now
But I can’t live in the moment when the present is what’s bringing me down
I’m decomposing with acceleration the longer we’re waiting around
This one goes out to the east coast, hey I miss you
Tell me I’m not alone
Swear I’m gonna start walking, destinations a bit foggy but I’m coming home
Wasted for months at a time now
Anxious that this binge won’t let up
Terrified of the future, fuck it’s sooner
And I’m less prepared now
But I can’t live in the moment when the present is what’s bringing me down
I’m decomposing with acceleration the longer we’re waiting around
This one goes out to the east coast, hey I miss you
Tell me I’m not alone
Swear I’m gonna start walking, destinations a bit foggy but I’m coming home
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2. |
Florida Georgia Line
03:03
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There’s nothing more to you I’m getting bored of you and there’s plenty more to chase
To help you choke down the realization that our parents cash is getting just as wasted as we do
It’s always pouring but not on me
So I’m gonna hit your bong and bounce
Your fucking frat party sucks
I don’t drink that fucking much
Your fucking glory day’s up
I’m not fucking everything up
Your fucking frat party sucks
It’s not a life but it’s enough
Always complaining
Go ahead, I’m waiting
For you to tell me “Fuck you, just go away”
Your friends all hate me
I think I’m leaving
I won’t say sorry for thinking this shit is lame
Your fucking frat party sucks
I don’t drink that fucking much
Your fucking glory day’s up
I’m not fucking everything up
Your fucking frat party sucks
It’s not a life but it’s enough
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3. |
Fall (Into Place)
03:07
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I wish that things would change
Someone, something else to blame
I’ll die on this hill if I have to
As if I had a better last thing to say, today
Wishing gets you nowhere fast
I’m missing pieces that I can’t get back
I wish it wasn’t fall, as if you’d care at all
Funny how summer gives way to gray and I follow suit and fall apart the same
And I wish it wasn’t cold and I hope everything stays closed
I’d rather just act like I’m upset when I’m more than happy to stay home
I used to look forward but now I find more comfort in reverse
Fell into a place that it’s easy to accept when I rehearse
Expect the worst
Good times in context
Have become something else
Something less
Good times aren’t honest
When you still have to guess
What’s coming next
I wish it wasn’t fall, as if you’d care at all
Funny how summer gives way to gray and I follow suit and fall apart the same
And I wish it wasn’t cold and I hope everything stays closed
I’d rather just act like I’m upset when I’m more than happy staying home
So stay home
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4. |
Tolerance
03:45
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I cut my ties and I burned all my bridges
healed like shit and tore out all the stitches
Pretending change won’t come has its’ limits
The acid took so much of me with it
So I held on to my past
A fucking vice grip held me back
Dripping sweat and blood from the stress of holding
Blinding roses held to noses as the points drive into palms
Looking back on how close I was
I can’t help but smile
Don’t wait up for me cause disappointment’s where it leads
You couldn’t count on me, life looks good dishonestly
Don’t wait up for me, like there aren’t more important things
And you can count on me, life looks good honestly
So close so distant
Now it’s different
Holding on only held me back
Only wanting what I couldn’t have
So I held on to my past
A fucking vice grip held me back
Don’t wait up for me cause disappointment’s where it leads
You couldn’t count on me, life looks good dishonestly
Don’t wait up for me, like there aren’t more important things
And you can count on me, life looks good it’s boring me
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5. |
Part 2
02:39
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If I had a second chance, I don’t know if I’d take it
I’m fresh out of backup plans, not happy but I’ll fake it
Every success is a little less sweet and god I fucking hate it
From the Adderall to the alcohol, up and down and nothing’s changed at all
Stick a syringe in my skull
Drain you out until I’m normal
Even if I could slow time down, this goodbye wouldn’t feel like forever at all
That’s all I want from this, so keep your fucking goodbye kiss
And stand here in the flames with me and watch our lives burn
If you’re gonna burn the past goes with you
If you’re gonna burn, then I’m gonna burn too
When it’s all ash no embers left
Will you still think it’s for the best?
Stick a syringe in my skull
Drain you out until I’m normal
Even if I could slow time down, this goodbye wouldn’t feel like forever at all
That’s all I want from this, so keep your fucking goodbye kiss
And stand here in the flames with me and watch our lives burn
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6. |
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Why does the world slip out from under me so often so easily?
It feels like I tripped over my own feet
I make mistakes, they always come running back to me
How the hell can I quit nicotine when oxygen still hurts to breathe?
It’s hard to not feel stupid
It’s hard to not feel useless
It’s hard to change the pain to blame I know exactly why you’d do this
I don’t wanna smoke, I don’t wanna drink
It doesn’t help I can’t even think
It’s hard to not feel useless these days
As soon as I thought I had a handle on what I want, it’s gone
It’s fucking gone
Guess I was right when I said that I don’t believe this will just work out for me
What the fuck is true anyway?
What do I believe when you say things have changed? Yeah. They changed.
What the fuck is true anyway?
What do I believe when you say that you just need to walk away?
I guess I’m easily replaced
How the hell can I quit nicotine when I don’t know what’s wrong with me?
I understand that you had to leave, I just wish you said the problem was me
And why the hell should I quit nicotine,
When I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me?
And I understand that you had to leave
I just wish you would’ve said the problem was me
It’s hard to not feel stupid
It’s hard to not feel useless
I wanna talk, I wanna ask, I don’t think I can do this
It’s hard to keep my spirit
I can’t breathe the air let’s clear it
I wanna talk, I wanna ask, but I don’t think you’d ever wanna hear it
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7. |
Sweet
03:50
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And I hate everything I create
It’s fucking with me cause I feel like this time I was right
And it’s killing me cause I don’t know
I’ve been waiting for something to change
But it’s only more of the same
I’ve been straining for something to say
But you’re always one distraction away
Make it something sweet
That can last my whole life sentence alone with me
Running through the backyards tryna escape the cop cars
I don’t know what any of this meant
The drinks we had are all I have in my head
I’ve been waiting for something to change
But it’s only more of the same
I’ve been straining for something to say
But you’re always one distraction away
Make it something sweet
That can last my whole life and won’t abandon me
There’s still fault on my end running from the sirens
I don’t know what any of this meant
I’m still alive but only in my head
And I never thought
That I’d be alone again
But it’s always just
A pillow away
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8. |
Coda
02:59
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Another year has come and gone meandering through currents
The glossy eyed will reminisce, I’m no better myself
Wishing to be anyone else
So now we seldom even talk, there isn’t much you’re missing
The door frame markings overlap, I think it’s for the best
But still most nights I can’t find rest
Where would we be now?
If I could learn how to keep my lips sealed shut
An addict for fucking all good graces up
The audacity to shift the blame
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9. |
Adventures in Ego Death
04:44
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There’s a malice in the air today determined to let the simmering stress become REGRESSION AND REGRET
I’ve been learning to move on if my attention complies, not dwell on the past with this elastic state of mind
Slow to confront, the worst impulses slip my tongue
And the effort’s null, it comes undone
Suffocate my hope and cut me out
I am weak, I am frail, I’ve been set in position to fail and I know where I stand
And it’s not clear where I belong
So with narrowing sights I defy my best interest insistence to carry on
Sought out chemical corrections but I’m still in command
This bond will collapse watching it pass right through my hands
So I’m opting to abandon this dramatic display
Sever the cord to be ignored and drift away
Prone to accuse to compensate for lack of use
And played with an exhausted excuse
This mindset will prove the death of me
I am weak, I am frail, I’ve been set in position to fail and I know where I stand
And it’s not clear where I belong
So with narrowing sights I defy my best interest insistence to carry on
Well I’ve been here before and I don’t need your help to express all the hate I’ve accrued for myself
If there’s something I’m missing I’ll lend you an ear but your posturing’s proved to be less than sincere
While your fingers dig deeper into open sores and your motives are clear what you want’s nothing more than to see that I bleed like you
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Life Looks Good Chicago, Illinois
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